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User blog:Degrassi 4lifeUS/Real Housewives of Phoenix II
'The Real Housewives of Phoenix "The New Queen Bea"' Susana: Wealthy 46 year old single mother, who is 6 times divorced. Susana has 3 children and owns her own fortune 500 company. Veronica: Wealthy 30 year old trophy wife of an NBA player. She spends most her her time hanging with the staff at her Mansion in Paradise Valley and having drinks with her friends. Kathleen: Wealthy 40 year old mother of 3. She is married to a famous televison star and spends most of her time working with her charity that feeds kids in Africa. Daffney: Wealthy 25 year old NFL wife with no children and not a care in the world. Daffney was raised with very littlem comapared to the ladies and her mission in life is to have a child and truly fit in. Beatirce: 38 year old Beatrice is the least wealthy of all the Housewives. She lives in the suburbs. Has 4 children and works full time as a check out girl at a local retail outlet. Her husband works construction. (Opening sequence with tag lines) Daffney: My husband plays with balls all day and when he gets home I play with his balls. Kathleen: My husband is an actor, but I give Academy Award winning performances in the bedroom. Veronica: Basketball Wives get a bad name...mainly because of me. Susana: Men are like tampons. Change them out whenever they bleed you dry. Beatrice: All of these other Women are just awful. (All the Women pose together holding Cactus plants) (Scene 1, Beatrice house she has just opened the door for the other ladies) Beatrice: Welcome to my home ladies, I am Beatrice, but you all can call me Bea if you like. Susana: So lovely to meet you. Your home is very cute and...yeah, nice to meet you. (Susana pre taped interview) Susana: Is this a house, or public restroom (laughs uncontrollably) she doesn't even have room for serving quarters...this is truly the ghetto. I am going to have to tell my driver to make sure the car is ready to go when I leave here. God only knows what happens in these type of neighborhood's after the sun goes down. Crack heads and common street whores everywhere I am sure. Oh the humanity! I need a cocktail. (Back to Beatrice's house) Kathleen: Darling your dress is so lovely, you must tell me who made it for you. Beatrice: I actually bought this at Kohl's, it was on clearance. (Kathleen pre taped interview) Kathleen: What in the name of all that is holy is clearance and who is Kohl? I have never heard of that designer. Clearly she is not wearing the finest of couture...for the love of God, she is wearing ghetto sheek (laugh's uncontrollably) I am so damn funny. I slay myself. (Back to Beatrice's house) Veronica: Hello Bea, I am Veronica, I am married to a Laker...just thought you should know. I love this house, but I am confused as to why we aren't in your main home. This is the serving quarters no? Beatrice: So to speak. I actually do all the cooking and cleaning around here. Veronica: You're the maid? Oh my goodness dear, you are quite bold to be talking to the social elite like we are your peers. Please get me a vodka spritzer, and take my coat. Please don't wrinkle it. It's suede. Beatrice: No, I am the home owner. This is my home, I am Beatrice. Veronica: Oh, my most heart felt apologies. I don't kniow where my mind is today. Daffney: Ronnie, not cool. Veronica: Well don't snap at me. You invite us over to this broom closet and expect us to understand what is going on here. Beatrice: Broom closet? Veronica: I meant quaint little home. I speak out of turn form time to time. I have tourette's...lick my butt!!! See, sometimes I just say bizarre things out of nowhere. (Veronica pre taped interview) Veronica: Saved my ass with that whole tourette's thing...but truth be told. This bitch is poor. Typical Daffney, associating with commoners and street people. This is going to be an awful evening. (Back to Beatrice's house) Beatrice: Tourette's? That must me hard. My sympathy. (Beatrice pre taped interview) Beatrice: Strikes 1-3. What have I gotten myself into? These Women are simply awful. I have to just brush it off and make the most of tonight. (Daffney pre taped interview) Daffney: Wow, poor Bea...but yay me. Maybe now they will show me a little respect. (Kathleen pre taped interview) Kathleen: Daffney is still a whore, I want that to be perfectly clear. Bea may be poor as dirt, but at least she...I was going to try to say something nice, but I am just not that type of girl. (Back to Beatrice's house) Susana: What do you do for a living Beatrice? I own a fortune 500 comany. Beatrice: I work as a cashier at Target actually. (Susana begins to laugh) Susana: Target, so funny. I can see you have a great sense of humor. Beatrice: I actually wasn't kidding. Susana: You're kidding about not kidding right? Beatrice: Actually no, I am not kidding about not kidding. Susana: Oh my. Kathleen: Well that is nice though...are you married? Beatrice: Yes, in fact but my husband is working right now, so he can't be here. Veronica: What does your husband do for a living that he is working in the middle of the afternoon? Beatrice: He works construction. Veronica: What company does he own. Beatrice: Actually he doesn't own any company. He is just a worker. Veronica: Oh my. Beatrice: I am starting to think you Women think you're better than me. Susana: Nobody is claiming to be better, we are just different is all. (Susana pre taped interview) Susana: Hell yes we are better. This Woman is nothing more than a common thug...and how dare her take that tone with us. We are guest in her home. Some people just don't know how to treat others. It is very sad if I must say so myself. (Back to Beatrice's house) Beatrice: Different would be the correct word I suppose...anyway, can we just sit to dinner. I had is specially catered for all of you lovely ladies. Kathleen: Oh, how nice of you darling. What catering company do you use? Beatrice: We are having Popeye's. Susana: I have never heard of Popeye's, sound exotic. Beatrice: It is actually fried chicken. Kathleen: They fry chicken? Since when? This sounds so interesting. Beatrice: Been doing it for years. Susana: You know I heard about something like that before on a television advertisment. Beatrice: Great...well let's eat. (Beatrice's pre taped interview) Beatrice: I am going to whip Daffney's ass for getting me into this shit. I hate all of these bitches. they are just awful. Nothing more than plastic, pretentious self absorbed cellulite riddled cum dumpsters. (Daffney's pre taped interview) Daffney: Popeye's? Is she serious with this shit...it is some bomb ass chicken though. I'm going to tear that shit up. Fernando my personal trainer is just going to kill me. (Back to Beatrice's house) Susana: My, that was some amazing food. I must get the address to that resturant. (Susana licking her fingers) Beatrice: They have them all over town. Kathleen: What? You served us food from a food chain. I think I will be sick... (Kathleen runs off) Susana: Don't worry my dear, she throws up after ever meal. Hear breath smells like semen and regurgitated lettuce. Beatrice: Well, it's getting late ladies and I have to get the kids ready for school in the morning. Thanks for coming. Susana: Wait, no cocktails? Beatrice: Here is a Mickey's (hands Susana a can of malt liquor) Enjoy. Susana: Well, I never!!! Veronica: Beatrice I must say you are quite rude, and have shown little to no hospitalty, Beatrice: Veronica, I must say you are quite slutty and have shown little to no abilty to keep random dicks out of your mouth. Veronica: I can't believe you just insulted me like that. Look at yourself in a mirror, you common Housewife. you are pathetic. I can't stand to be in your presence any longer. I am leaving. Beatrice: Oh no...what ever will I do without all of you stuck up snubbish bitches in my house? Get to steppin. Susana: When I told you that this was a lovely home earlier, I was lying. This is the most ghetto place I have ever stepped foot in. You are a horrid host, and your bargain basement fashions are gag worthy. May our paths never cross again. Beatrice: Everybody has to cross your path as some point Suzy. You weigh upwards of 500 pounds. (Susana storms out followed by Kathleen and Veronica) Beatrice: Daffney, I am going to fuck you up, brining these stuck up bitches into my house. Clearly you have forgotten where you came from. Daffney: I will call you tomorrow...I am so sorry. (Daffney pre taped interview) Daffney: I'm not really sorry...I do feel bad though. Bad that I didn't think to bring in a new punching bag long before this. (Daffne laughs uncontrollably as the scene ends) (Scene 2, Veronica's house. She is sitting having tea with Susana and Kathleen) Kathleen: I can't believe that cow served me processed food. How horrific an experience was that. Plus I didn't even get to see if she would like my anal bleaching creme. Susana: please darling, like she even has enough money to buy toothpaste. Veronica: I kind of like her to be honest. Susana: What on earth? She is awful. Veronica: She is still better than that street whore Daffney. Kathleen: I would have to agree with that. Whatever it is, I can't stand her. Susana: It's that punchable face, and those mis shapen fake breast. Kathleen: This is true. It is almost as if she got her breast done in Mexico or something...on top of that her extensions awful, and she dresses like a hoochy from a music video. I agree with Ronnie. She is just awful. Susana: So, we all agree, we still hate Daffney the most. Veronica; I don't hate Daffney she is my friend...I just don't want her around me, and find her to be a terrible person with no reedemable qualities. I don't hate her though. (Veronica pre taped interview) Veronica: I am just trying to be nice, fact is I really do hate that bitch. I hope nobody else can tell. I don't think I really let on. (Back to Veronica's house) Susana: Maybe we should give Bea a second chance. She wasn't very nice to us and served us poor people food, but I think with the proper makeover she could be acceptable. Kathleen: I agree. We will let have into the cirlce and in turn give Daffney the boot. Veronica: I don't condone this. That ratchet street whore Daffney is like a sister to me...I am all for giving Bea a second chance though. (Susana pre taped interview) Susana: It is lights out Daffney. Bye bye my little herpes queen. (Kathleen pre taped interview) Kathleen: This is going to be interesting. Sometimes I ask myself if we are too mean, but then I remember that we are rich and can do whatever the hell we want. (Veronica pre taped interview) Veronica: That bitch is going down, and this time down isn't in reference to all the random blow jobs she gives...I can't wait to see my plan take effect. Stay tuned folks. This is about to get really good. (End of episode) Category:Blog posts